A rule that makes no sense
A rule at school seems to punish everybody for something one person did.
What do you do?
Step 1: What Would You Do?
There is often more than one good answer. Pick one and see what happens.
Somebody being picked on
Somebody is being made fun of for their accent. Other people are laughing.
What do you do?
Step 2: What That Was
The name for what you just worked out.
Some things are unfair to everybody — a rule that makes no sense. Some are unfair to one person, because of who they are. The second kind is more serious.
Saying something
You do not need a speech. "That is not fair" or "that is not kind" is usually enough to change a room.
Tell somebody who can act
If you cannot fix it, find an adult who can. That is not telling tales — it is the thing to do.
If it is about who somebody is
Unfairness because of somebody’s skin, religion, family, or how they look or speak is always worth telling an adult about.
Step 3: Quick Check
Two questions, then you are done.
Question 1 of 1
Somebody is being treated badly because of where their family is from. What do you do?
Step 4: Your Life Mission
Something to do away from the screen. Nobody is checking.
Have a sentence ready
- Decide now what you would say if you saw something unfair.
- Make it short — three or four words.
- Practice saying it so it comes out easily.
Why: In the moment nobody thinks of the right words. Having them ready is what makes speaking up possible.
Step 5: What You Learned
- Some things are unfair to everybody. Some are aimed at one person.
- A short calm sentence is usually enough.
- If it is about who somebody is, tell an adult.
For the grown-up
The distinction between a badly designed rule and targeted unfairness is worth making explicitly, because children apply "that is unfair" to both and adults then discount all of it.
Discriminatory behavior needs a clear, unambiguous instruction to report — the ambiguity in "sort it out yourselves" leaves children carrying something they should not.
How you respond when your child reports something like this determines whether they report the next one. Taking it seriously the first time is the whole investment.