In the playground
A child you do not know is sitting by the wall crying. Nobody else has noticed.
What do you do?
Step 1: What Would You Do?
There is often more than one good answer. Pick one and see what happens.
At the park
An older child says you can have some sweets, but only if you come round the corner where nobody can see, and you must not tell.
What do you do?
Step 2: What That Was
The name for what you just worked out.
Is somebody hurt? In danger? Very upset? If yes, tell a grown-up. Always.
Telling tales is different
Telling tales is when you say something just to get somebody into trouble, and nobody is hurt or in danger.
If you are not sure
Tell anyway. Nobody sensible is cross with a child for telling about something that turned out to be fine.
Secrets that feel wrong
If a grown-up asks you to keep a secret from your grown-ups, tell. Every time. That rule never has an exception.
Step 3: Try It
These ones do have right answers.
Tell, or Sort It Out?
Tap each one, then tap where it goes.
Which of these should you tell a grown-up?
Tap something to move it.
- Empty
- Empty
Step 4: Quick Check
Two questions, then you are done.
Question 1 of 1
A grown-up says: do not tell your mum about this. What do you do?
Step 5: Your Life Mission
Something to do away from the screen. Nobody is checking.
Name your grown-ups
- Name three grown-ups you could tell something important to.
- Say them out loud to somebody at home.
- Remember one of them is at school.
Why: Knowing who to tell before anything happens is what makes telling possible when it does.
For a grown-up: Let them choose the three, including who at school. A list they picked is one they will actually use.
Step 6: What You Learned
- Hurt, danger, or very upset — always tell.
- Telling to get somebody in trouble is different.
- If a grown-up wants a secret kept from your grown-ups, tell.
For the grown-up
This is the safeguarding lesson of the band. "Do not tell tales" is absorbed by small children as a general rule against reporting, and it is worth actively correcting rather than assuming they will make the distinction.
The surprise-versus-secret line is the standard one and it works: a surprise is something everybody will know soon and is happy about; a secret is something one adult wants hidden from another. Children can apply it reliably by about five.
How you react to a false alarm decides whether the next real thing gets reported. Thanking them for telling, even when it was nothing, is the whole investment.