Playtime
Some children are playing a game with rules you do not know. You want to join.
What do you do?
Step 1: What Would You Do?
There is often more than one good answer. Pick one and see what happens.
A new school
It is your first week. Everybody already has friends. You are on your own at break.
What is a good thing to try?
Step 2: What That Was
The name for what you just worked out.
Watch for a moment first. Find out what the game is before you ask.
Join what is happening
Joining works better than changing it. Asking to be the dragon in a dragon game works. Asking everyone to play something else usually does not.
If they say no
It is usually about the game — full teams, or a story already going. Ask again later, or find another game.
Step 3: Quick Check
Two questions, then you are done.
Question 1 of 1
What is the best first move when you want to join a game?
Step 4: Your Life Mission
Something to do away from the screen. Nobody is checking.
Watch, then ask
- Find a game you are not in.
- Watch for a count of ten.
- Ask what they are playing.
Why: The ten seconds of watching is what makes the asking work.
Step 5: What You Learned
- Watch first.
- Join the game they are playing.
- A no is usually about the game.
For the grown-up
Children who struggle to join in are usually skipping the watching step rather than lacking confidence. The entry strategy is teachable in a way that confidence is not.
Being turned away is a normal event that children reliably read as a verdict on themselves. Saying "that is about the game" out loud, in the moment, does real work.
Resist arranging entry for them where you can. An adult who asks on a child’s behalf solves today and teaches that the move requires an adult.