In the classroom
You have finished your work and you do not know what to do next. You have been sitting quietly for a while.
What do you do?
Step 1: What Would You Do?
There is often more than one good answer. Pick one and see what happens.
At a friend’s house
You are thirsty. You have been at your friend’s house for a while and nobody has offered a drink.
What do you do?
Step 2: What That Was
The name for what you just worked out.
People cannot see what you are thinking. Even people who love you a lot.
Words work better than hands
"Can I have a turn?" works. Grabbing does not, even when you were there first.
They might say no
Asking does not mean getting. No is an allowed answer, and asking again later is allowed too.
Step 3: Try It
These ones do have right answers.
What Could You Say?
Tap a problem, then tap some words that would help.
Match each one to good words for it.
Tap a card on the left to start.
Step 4: Quick Check
Two questions, then you are done.
Question 1 of 1
You want a turn. Somebody has been on it a long time. What is best?
Step 5: Your Life Mission
Something to do away from the screen. Nobody is checking.
Ask out loud once
- Find one thing today you would usually wait for.
- Ask for it with words.
- Notice what happened.
Why: Most of the time it works straight away, and that is the thing worth finding out.
Step 6: What You Learned
- People cannot tell what you want.
- Ask with words.
- No is allowed.
For the grown-up
Children who hover rather than ask usually believe they are asking — the wanting feels so loud from inside that its invisibility is genuinely surprising. Saying "I cannot tell what you want unless you say it" is more useful than "use your words".
The point about no being an allowed answer matters. A child who has learned that asking must succeed will stop asking, because a refusal reads as failure rather than as one of two normal outcomes.
Watch for asking that is really commanding. "Give me a turn" and "can I have a turn" get very different responses, and the difference is worth naming once rather than corrected repeatedly.